God is so good. I’ve been stressing quite a bit lately and trying not to bring it up and complain about it. (Bro. David gave a sermon about not being the victim that struck a nerve.) So, I’ve poured myself into just keeping my mouth shut from complaining and instead praying and reading. And wouldn’t you know it every verse I’ve read this week has had something to do with just trusting God. It’s like he’s nudging me saying “hey, chill out. I got this. Don’t I always?” However, I have Type A, need-to-fix-everything-myself personality so this is where I struggle the most. I have a compulsive urge to dash wherever the “crisis” is, particularly in my own life and head. I create my own worries; just in case it happens, I’m prepared. This is probably because I was born with “Bad luck”. (I know most christians don’t believe in luck… but hey neither did my SO until he got with me. haha) Anyways, I somehow always figure out how to keep going and moving on. I’m proud of this because I refuse to be a victim (hence the reference above.) However, I do complain, A LOT. I mean when something it bothering me, I talk about it to my closest people, sometimes over and over. I would’ve told me to hush by now but they love me and don’t. (Or maybe they do in their head…hmmm…) Maybe they know this is how I process things. I’m an optimistic realist (Is that a thing?! Well it is now.) I’m tuned in to reality but I want the best possible outcome. (Even though I know it’s not my luck.) But lucky for me (get it?) God intervenes on my behalf. 95% of the time I don’t deserve it. I have slacked on my reading and devotions. I definitely have a mouth I’m working on. I don’t spread his word as much as I could. Thank you he is merciful and forgiving. I strive to be better everyday, not just for me, but for my daughter. Plus, I can’t help someone else if I’m in the wrong. So, that being said I hope you enjoyed my little “rant” and I inspired you somehow. What’s your biggest vice/flaw?
So I forget to post these on here… maybe I’ll take a snapshot and upload it?! Anyone out there?
- I’m thankful for the quiet moments to think and reflect.
- I’m thankful for noise from my child. It reminds me I’m not alone.
- I’m thankful for my best friend. My LO wanted to stay the night and without hesitation she let her.
So, I have no idea where I’m going with this blog. Right now, it should probably be called “Brooke’s Ramblings” because that’s what I feel like I’m doing. I almost sliced off my left index finger so this is getting typed much slower than usual. Be patient with me if you’re reading. Remember, we all started somewhere.
Thankfully, I believe in the Lord and often he convicts me of such things I need to fix/correct in my life. Since becoming a SAHM, I have plenty of time to think about my family and what directions we/I am being led. For myself, I realize I used to complain A LOT. I meant A LOT. Granted, some of them were warranted but was it always necessary to keep putting it out there. I mean no one likes a Negative Nancy. So, it an effort to bring more positivity into my mind and life, I am going to try to list 3 things I am thankful or grateful for each day.
- I am thankful for my daughter who reminds me to slow down and enjoy life instead of living a list of to-dos.
- I am thankful for my SO (Significant Other) for being so persistent about me leaving a situation that was leaving me very unhappy to be able to enjoy my family.
- I am thankful for my faith. Although, I am NOWHERE close to perfect or even mediocre, I feel closer to God than I have in a while. I love that my SO & I can share this.
Ever had a best friend that things went south with? Most of us have. However, just hated the sound of their name and even worse their voice? It’s not because I want the friendship back but more because my feelings really i got hurt. When someone believes a liar and a thief over their “best friend” there’s a problem. I don’t do well when my feelings and trust are compromised and leave me feeling betrayed. But life goes on I suppose. I’ve lost and gained people and everything else since I became pregnant. I guess some people will never mature and grow up. My job now is mommy first, friends second. I’m sorry if people don’t get that.
On a better note I ate a nice semi-healthy lunch and I’m feelings much better. No more ER trips I hope. Also, I’m 18 weeks today 🙂 weird still but I’m happy (as long as I’m not at work ;))
So… went MIA for a while. SO very much to catch up on. For starters, the big one is I’m pregnant. Baby Armstead is due January 9, 2013. Never in a million years thought I would be a mom but I’m warming up to it ya know with the baby being inside me and all 😉 Anyways, PJ and I are still going strong and living together now. Yep, I went from miserable semingly single (albeit in a relationship) to blissfully happy and expecting. Big change…huh?? So yeah, thank God for answering prayers and then again thank him for not answering some. It all works out. Anyways, quick hello before I head to work aka hell (that’s another post). Attatched are the pictures of the cupcakes I promised back in April. Yeah, I started slacking…
So, today is my new feller’s birthday. I’m excited. I never have been able to plan out a guy’s birthday. I baked him red velvet cupcakes since his favorite cake is red velvet. Now, I’m up cleaning my house before people get here later this evening. I’ll post a picture later once I frost them. Life is good 🙂
I really enjoy this devotional. I’m not sure how many people read this or if you do a daily devotional. I know some people hate someone breathing down their neck about religion so, believe me when I tell you that’s not what I’m trying to do. However, if you do believe in God this is a great site. They have an iphone app and that’s where I first discovered Greg Laurie and Harvest. I work when church services are going on so I don’t really get the chance to go. Also, I stopped attending church a few years ago and kinda felt out of the whole church thing. A lot of things have happened in my life that cause to me to have my doubts with God. Now, God and I are on good terms but I don’t regularly attend church. This app/ site though gives me lots to study and learn though. I get an email everyday with a devotional and try most days to do it. Also, there are radio programs and all I listen to in the car. There’s some really cool Bible apps for the iphone too, message or comment if you’d like to know more about them.
This devotioanl really struck home with me. There have been many times when I prayed my little heart out to God only to get nothing. With age, I’ve learned that sometimes these are blessings in disguise. In the words of Garth Brooks, “Thank God for unanswered prayers.” Mr. Lauries says that God’s delays are not necessarily His denials, and sometimes God will allow us to get to the end of our rope, to the end of our resources, so we will finally cling to Him. I think of this like I would a good friend you’re trying to help but can’t until they hit rock bottom. I would love to tell you that my dad’s passing brought me back to God, but it was well before then. I started reading the book Eat Pray Love and was truly inspired. I decided then to make this year about me and part of that year would involve trying to reach back out to God. I think I was just so tired of simply just being alive. I really wanted to live. I was tired of being tired and unmotivated. I wanted to crave life again. I was tired of being unhappy. So, I started journaling to God the way my best friend does. At first it was weird, but then sometimes it’s nice to write things out. Then after all that talking and praying, I did a devotional. I hadn’t done a devotional since high school. I learned that I shouldn’t keep praying to God to fit my needs but rather that I should pray for God to help me meet his. One simple devotional changed my perspective on praying. I realized that all along I had be asking for the wrong things. Now, I’m not saying God and I are on perfect terms but we’re MUCH better. We’re working on it, and maybe you can too. 🙂